November 17, 2014
For a number of years, I’ve thumbed my nose at golf. I gave it a go at one point and immediately made up my mind – it wasn’t for me. Let’s be honest: When you hit a ball, it hits a tree and then bounces 20 feet behind where you were originally standing, well… you get discouraged.
But I was in Scottsdale last week for vacation and decided to give it another go. A mulligan of sorts. I don’t exactly know why. Maybe it was the warm weather, the gorgeous greens or a few too many margaritas. But if you’re thinking of doing the same, allow me to offer some advice.
1. It’s harder than it looks. You’d think hitting a ball with a club should be easy. It’s not. But that’s okay. Now that you know it’s not easy, you don’t feel so bad when you’re not mastering it the first day.
2. There’s a sweet spot. Apparently, there is a place on the club face where it’s optimal to strike the ball. I can’t tell you where it is, because I never found it. If you find it, let me know.
3. Don’t get frustrated. That’s easier said than done, but it’s an essential rule of golf. And I’m told it’s not just for beginners, but even for those who have been doing it for years.
4. Look good, play good. ‘Nuff said.
5. If you whiff the ball, just pretend it was a practice swing. You can do this by stepping back, nodding your head and muttering, “Yes, yes, okay.”
6. No one cares about your game. They only care about how they are playing. It’s a game for the narcissistic.
7. Don’t be afraid to play a foot wedge, or pick it up and just say F*$% it. Then take a deep breath and move on. Move on.
8. Get to know your cart girl/guy. They can smooth over a rough hole with a shot of confidence.
9. If your game sucks that day, focus on something else. You’re outside, it’s green, you’re not working. Why are you upset? Perspective, people.
10. If you aren’t having fun, just stop, turn around and head to the clubhouse for a G&T or bloody. Life is too short.