The Horror of Blogophobia

September 11, 2009
Art: Consumer Health Interactive

Art: Consumer Health Interactive

Being new to blogging, I’ve decided that I suffer from something that I call blogophobia. Yes, I’m blogophobic.

I believe that’s the fear that one is writing really funny stuff and nobody out there is reading it. I know that this is a similar fear from which most local radio personalities suffer.  At least writing a blog doesn’t usually take up as much time as a three- to five-hour radio shift.  Can you imagine talking for five hours, thinking you’re hilarious and pithy, and in reality only 10 people are listening?  That’s got to be brutal.  I’ve suffered something like that at a party where I’m in the middle of a great story and everybody walks away before I’m done.

Recently I did a bit of research and discovered that my definition of blogophobia is incorrect.  You see, there are people who actually suffer from blogophobia. These are people who have a “fear of blogs.”  I’m sorry; I’ve got a problem with that.  I can understand a fear of spiders or of heights – but a fear of blogs!  Give me a break.  Find something else to drive you to therapy.  Didn’t you have an overbearing mother or a too-fat childhood?  To me the cure is simple.  Don’t turn on your computer, but if you have to – don’t read the damn blogs!

As if having blogophobia isn’t bad enough, there are actually places on the Internet where you can go to get advice for your “blog fears.”  I’m not kidding.  Blogs you can read that help you ease your fear of blogs.  Seems kind of silly to me.  I guess you can always have someone who doesn’t suffer from blogophobia read the blog to you.

At one such site I found the following:

Anil’s Advice
Anil offers a few pointers to keep in mind when we’re talking to a possible blogophobic– someone who believes that blogs might not be a good thing.

• Blogs are technology that is tested, tried, and true.
• Blogs integrate well with existing technology.
• Blogs are as mobile as a cell phone and used around the world.
• Blogs can start small and grow as comfort levels grow.

I have no idea who this “Anil” is.  I’d hate to think that she got a degree in blogophobia from one of our country’s fine educational institutions.  On the other hand, maybe she graduated from a small school based in the trunk of a tree in some Third World country. 

Anyway, I guess there’s nothing I can do about this other than venting on this blog.  I hope I can get through to those of you who are troubled by this malady.  Maybe you can have one of your “healthy” friends read it to you.

Next time – the truth behind “Twit-orexia!”