Cats, Tats And Baseball Bats: Meet Lauren

June 14, 2016

After sitting for an uncomfortable amount of time trying to think of all the important things someone should know to understand who I am as a person, I decided to changed my strategy. Instead of telling you all the important things — like how I’m a third-year student at the University of Minnesota studying strategic communication and leadership — I will instead tell you several random, yet charming, facts about myself. Bear with me.

If I could have any celebrity best friend, it would be Amy Poehler. No contest. Have you read Yes, Please? Because, if you haven’t, you need to borrow it from me — it’s pure gold. Not only is she a successful, badass woman, she gets to write and act on “Parks and Recreation.” Equally as important, she gets to be friends with Nick Offerman. Haven’t read his book either? Hit me up.

I live in a small, two-bedroom house in Dinkytown with two other women and two cats. I have since adopted my roommate’s cat as my stepson; his name is Bubbles. I call him Bubs because “Bubbles” is just a little too much for me. Please enjoy this picture of him in his Halloween costume. If you are a cat person and want to see his other Halloween costume (why wouldn’t he have two?) or his holiday sweater, let me know.

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I have a deep love for tattoos, hip-hop, and baseball. None of these are directly correlated, but I could talk for days about any of them. I currently have one tattoo with dreams of many more. Additionally, my headphones are filled with “Sunday Candy” (Chance the Rapper), “Backseat Freestyle” (Kendrick Lamar), and everything in between. And bucket list item No. 3 for me is to attend every Major League Baseball stadium. There are 30 total, and I plan on knocking out two more this summer.

I am a raging narcoleptic. This means I literally don’t have the brain cells that regulate sleep, causing me to fall asleep at inappropriate times — for example, when eating a meal in public. I can go into the REM cycle in 30 seconds, where as a normal human takes 90 minutes. Because of this there is a 99 percent chance you will always find me with a can of Diet Coke. See me asleep somewhere I shouldn’t be? Do a girl a favor and wake me up.

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I try to live by the phrase, “Do no harm, but take no sh*t.” Since I’m a Cancer, I am not one to outright seek conflict. I am constantly trying to be a peacekeeper. However, my purpose in life is to not be controlled by others. I am told Cancers are one of the most complex signs, so at least I’ve got that going for me. Additional fun fact: I share my zodiac sign with Tobey Maguire.

I am the youngest person at Fast Horse. I turn a whopping 20 years old on July 10. Does this make me super inexperienced? Compared to my colleagues, yes. Does this make me an idiot? I like to think no. I am a quick learner, and eager to get to know my coworkers and what they do. I am incredibly excited to a member of Fast Horse and am looking forward to the next eight weeks. Here’s a photo of my older sister and me last week — or from when I was five. You can be the judge.

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