September 2, 2015
I spent a lot of time with a baby this past weekend. Enough time to ditch my half-written Peepshow post on a great love of mine — grandmas — and switch gears. Unlike Pony Melissa, I’m brand-new to the world of babies. I’m the youngest of three, and when I would occasionally babysit during high school, my mom would sneak in to help as soon as the parents left, because those goober-shaped heads balanced on could-snap-at-any-moment necks gave me serious anxiety.
But now there’s Baby Lauren, my cousin’s six-month-old. Since her neck strength was up to snuff, I was able to hold her for good chunks of time and left the weekend having learned a few lessons. Not about caring for babies — nah, I still had my mom take her when things got messy — but a few things about life in general. If you learn no lessons at the end this, well, your heart is black, but at least you got to look at pictures of babies.
Don’t Complain About Cold Water And Bees
Baby Lauren took her very first dip in a lake this weekend. A very cold lake that had at least 15 bees hovering on the surface at all times. While I clung onto a floatie yelling profanities at bees and doing my best “shivering-Jack from-Titanic” to gain sympathy from the dock, Lauren just floated with a smile. Less complaining and more going with the flow. You’ll save energy and maybe even pull yourself onto the door for once.
Aim For Carrot Sticks Daily
Admit it, we’ve all had those days when coasting sounds better than a full day of hard work. But if Baby Lauren, a six-month-old with no knowledge of how to chew, much less an owner of teeth, skips purees and goes straight for carrot sticks and eggs, we are capable of doing pretty darn great things too. Baby Lauren stretches her brain muscles and does a new big thing every day of her life — rolls, giggles, projectile-vomits onto my face. Imagine what awesome accomplishments are possible if we aimed for carrot sticks and gave our best every single day of our lives.
*Baby Led Weaning if you’re curious!
Be The Lumpy Bottom Baby And Own It
Baby Lauren has a giant, lumpy bottom. It’s not genetic. She just wears cloth diapers that are about three times the size of normal diapers. Does Lauren mope about because she doesn’t fit into Baby Gap leggings? Does Lauren seclude herself in the corner at daycare because her onesie looks a little fuller than the rest? No. She’s the Kim Kardashian of Fargo and owns the title with pride. Lauren is unashamed about being different and offers no apologies when she goes against the grain in the diaper aisle. Take note, folks.
September 25, 2015