Alex’s Clueless Journey Back To The ’80s

January 12, 2012

A month ago, Bob Ingrassia made an off-hand comment about Sammy Hagar, which I politely received with the smile and nod. I have no idea who Hagar is. (Not an uncommon occurrence when we’re talking about ’80s music. Ask Scott Broberg about the time I mistook Bon Jovi for Guns & Roses.)

I thought I had gotten away with my white lie, until the main room began quizzing me about whether I knew who that was.

“Uh, no,” I said.

“You have to have heard, ‘Right Now,’” said Mike Keliher, cueing the YouTube video.

“Nope. Maybe I’ll recognize it.” (I have to admit that I was fairly skeptical.)

As the song played everyone looked at my face, waiting for the moment when I would have an “aha!” moment and recognize an apparently famous jam. But, it never happened.

So, in an effort to appease my incredulous coworkers and open my musical taste to the ’80s, I’ve decided to review five songs that I’ve never heard… starting with the infamous Sammy Hagar.

Van Halen “Right Now”

The music may not be too shabby, but I CANNOT tear my eyes away from the car crash happening on stage. I don’t what’s worse about the singer’s style: the hair, the t-shirt, the cutoffs or the socks and shorts combo. Wow. (Is that Sammy Hagar?)

On another note, I can see why this is a big song for sporting areas. I’m envisioning a Mighty Ducks movie. This plays in the background and symbolizes the Ducks in the locker room gearing up to take the ice by storm before the third period.


Debbie Gibson “Lost in Your Eyes”
(Embedding is disabled on this video, and that’s probably a good thing.)

I probably should have listened to this song without watching the video. The cut-away shots to her and her heartthrob boyfriend are cringe-worthy. So cheesy. Wait, it got worse. Now there are violinists.

Honestly, I could never take myself seriously if I voluntarily chose to listen to this (sorry to anyone I’m offending). The lyrics are terrible. Just terrible.

Based on this song, I guarantee Gibson cries the first time the Donald criticizes her on Celebrity Apprentice.


Huey Lewis And The News “Heart of Rock & Roll”

I don’t know if I would voluntarily listen to “Heart of Rock & Roll” but the song isn’t too shabby. It has a good beat and, although the lyrics are still mildly ridiculous, it’s catchy. The sax and harmonica solos definitely make the song.


Dire Straits “Money For Nothing”

This song doesn’t strike a chord with me. There isn’t anything new or unique about the song, solos, instrumentation and lyrics. It sounds exactly as I imagine every other ’80s song to sound. However, I enjoy that their singer pronounces guitar as, “geetar.”


Bobby Brown “My Perogative”

I didn’t realize that Bobby Brown was a once-relevant musician until my colleague Mike emailed to say he used Shazam to identify a Bobby Brown song. Isn’t Bobby Brown the ex-husband of Whitney Houston? I can’t tell if I recognize “My Prerogative” because I’ve heard it before, or if Britney Spears’ rendition was my first introduction. Either way, I like Britney’s version better. What can I say? I may have been born in the 80s but I grew up in the ’90s with boy bands, Britney and Eminem.