Ashton Kutcher And The Apocalypse

January 27, 2011

I’ve got a bad habit. I blame it on my boyfriend, but we have been known to wander the magazine aisles at Barnes & Noble with no noble pursuit in mind.The other night there’s a 45-minute line outside of Punch Pizza, our dinner plans are trashed, and we’re wandering the BN magazine section.

Boyfriend looks for ski gear recommendations and I pick up the latest copy of Men’s Health, only to discover that the cute, cuddly Ashton Kutcher is prepping for an apocalypse.

True story: he’s working out every day — yoga, weights, cardio, you name it. He’s studying the most deadly of all combat moves and he knows how to live solely on water and syrup for two weeks at a time.

Mildly shocked, I read the article again, looking for signs of sarcasm. I mean this IS the creator of Punk’d.

Finding none and reading his concern that modern society is dependent on Google Maps, car navigators and the like, I recalled a miserable episode a few days back where Google Maps quit working on my phone and I couldn’t find my final destination. Could Mr. Kutcher be right? Are we heading towards an apocalyptic time where the electronic grid will crash and it’ll be a barbaric “brute strength takes all” approach to survival?

A blog post began to form in my mind. Is Ashton Kutcher totally nuts or is he on to something? His most famous acting nod was flopping on a coach and smoking up. But really? Could he be right?

Cue the Google search (thank god, the electronic grid was still firing!) and the resulting video.

So here’s the revised question: Is this a well-done cover-up after he went too far in an interview? Or did he truly keep his sarcasm a little too dry for the professional writer’s notice?

Or, my favorite option, did the Men’s Health writer catch the sarcasm, look over the rote, dry text she had, look at the images of Ashton punching out his instructor, and say “eh, this could be fun…”?