Halloween Costumes For Haters

October 13, 2017

I am a certified hater of Halloween. As an adult, I don’t feel I should have to dress up in some ridiculous outfit just because it is October 31. Unfortunately, most people are more fun than me, and every single year I am stuck trying to think up a costume at the very last minute.

This year, I decided to be proactive. With a little help from the Fast Horse crew, I’ve pulled together a foolproof guide to a lazy Halloween, featuring ten costume ideas you can create with absolutely zero effort whatsoever. Enjoy.

Wednesday Adams: We’ll start with everyone’s favorite hater: Wednesday Adams. You can have a bad attitude about Halloween all night long and it will basically be a part of your costume! What you’ll need: Braids, black dress, collar if you’re feeling ambitious. 

Night (costume by Kylee): This is my favorite costume because it is how I dress every day! Simply cover yourself in head to toe black and say you’re “night.” You’ll look chic and will be way more comfortable than everyone else. What you’ll need: All black everything. 

Millennial: Grab your iPhone and don’t look up all night long. Maybe take a selfie or two, or complain to your group chat about how basic everyone’s outfits are. What you’ll need: iPhone, disaffected attitude.

Vampire Weekend (costume by Rebecca): If you’re feeling clever, you can grab some fangs and go out as a modern vampire of the city. What you’ll need: Vampire teeth, a t-shirt with a weekend day written on it. You could also wear a cape if you want, but not sure it is worth the effort.

Glow worm (costume by Natalie): Just tape a glow stick or two to your shirt, and boom, you’re a glow worm. This would be a good costume if you happen to be headed to some sort of rave. Are raves still a thing? What you’ll need: Glow sticks, friends that are into raves.

Pilgrim: Boho is very big right now. My boyfriend is constantly telling me I look like a pilgrim, so I might as well capitalize on it. Simply throw in your best flowy, long sleeve dress and call it a costume. You’ll be very on trend. What you’ll need: Long sleeve dress.

Halloween “vibe” (costume by Melissa): Grab a wig, glasses, cat ears and wear all black — be nothing specific other then giving off that halloween vibe. You could also just carry around a pumpkin. What you’ll need: General Halloween things.

Twins (costume by Jasmine): Find a friend with several of the same clothing items, you’re a twin! You could also take it one step further, dress in very baggy (yet expensive) clothing, and go as Mary Kate and Ashley. What you’ll need: A friend, matching outfits.

Anna Wintour: All you need is big glasses, a stylish outfit and a scowl. You’ll be the scariest person at the party. What you’ll need: Glasses, maybe some Chanel?

Sugar Mama (costume by Alli): This one’s for all the moms out there! Just carry around a bag of sugar and all of the sudden you have by far the laziest (and maybe most amazing) costume on this list. Maybe steer clear of any police who might think your bag of sugar is something a little more illicit. What you’ll need: A child, some sugar.