The Draft Was Last Night (So Was The NBA’s)

June 26, 2015
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The draft board from the inaugural Things Draft, in order of selection from top to bottom, left to right. (Yes, microwave went No. 1.)

 

Last night, our Minnesota Timberwolves were the darlings of the 2015 NBA Draft in New York City. After selecting Kentucky big man Karl-Anthony Towns with the first overall pick, the Timberwolves traded their No. 31 and No. 36 picks to the Cleveland Cavaliers in exchange for Duke point guard and local product Tyus Jones. (He’s one of us!)

It was an entertaining draft, sure, but nowhere near as intense as the one that took place around the same time at Fast Horse headquarters. Eight Ponies crowded into a conference room — Heineken bottles in hand, nervously eating cookies and tortilla chips — while taking part in history: the inaugural Things Draft. (“Noun Draft” may have been a more accurate name, but in the parlance of our times, “Things Draft” felt right.) Through five rounds, each of us made selections to fill a roster comprised of five categories:

  • Entertainer
  • Historical Figure
  • Appliance
  • Fictional Character
  • Miscellaneous Human

In the absence of any discernible scoring system, we are relying on good old-fashioned democracy to decide who won the draft. There is absolutely nothing on the line. Not even pride. Check out the teams below and pick your winner.

Trust your gut. We did.

 

THE SURFBOARDS

Drafted by Sammie Holden

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THING ONE, THING TWO

Drafted by Jörg Pierach

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WINTERFELL WARRIORS

Drafted by Cydney Strommen

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BOB MOUTH

Drafted by Alex Gaterud

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#jorts

Drafted by Joe Rstom

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THE NINJA TUTTLES

Drafted by Sam Tuttle

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SPACE JAMS

Drafted by Stephanie Mann

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THE CONSIDERATE TERADACTYLS PTERODACTYLS

Drafted by Andrew Miller

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DA TOOTSIE ROLL

Drafted by Alex “Jenji” Weaver

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[democracy id=2]