Remakes And Redos. Recycling The ’80s In Hollywood

June 29, 2012

This weekend after watching “True Blood” (the only show I actually watch ON television vs. iTunes or OnDemand), I briefly flipped through a few channels. “Hangover II,” “Hellraiser: Hellworld,” “Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides,” “X-Men: First Class.”

Sequels, everywhere.

I get it, I guess. When you have a good thing going, you may as well keep it going for as long as you can, right? Although “good” is debatable. Was it really necessary to revive Nicholas Cage’s “Ghost Rider” franchise?

But it is the remakes that really get me. Specifically, the sudden resurgence of ’80’s remakes the last few years. Maybe it is just because they make me feel old.

The “A-Team,” “Arthur” (from Dudley Moore to Russell Brand???), “21 Jump Street” (OK, so I didn’t see the movie but Jonah Hill is no Johnny Depp), “Miami Vice,” “The Karate Kid,” “Clash of the Titans,” “Conan,” “Fright Night” … the list goes on.

The “Total Recall” reboot is coming out next month. A “Carrie” remake was recently announced. Supposedly Gleek Lea Michele is slated to star in the currently on-hold “Dirty Dancing” remake.

Somebody PLEASE but baby in a corner!

Not to mention rumblings of “Robocop.” And (speaking of jumping the shark) another “Die Hard.” Are there any 80’s movies left sacred?

What’s next? “Flashdance,” “Bill and Ted,” “Mannequin,” “The Lost Boys?” Surely no one would be brazen enough to attempt to recreate the all-time brat pack classic “The Breakfast Club” would they?

But what if? Who would become today’s criminal, princess, brain, athlete and basketcase?

Here are my picks:
The criminal: Joseph Gordon-Levitt (have you seen “Hesher?”)
The princess: Emma Stone
The brain: Michael Cera or Jesse Eisenberg (they are interchangeable to me)
The athlete: I”m not in love with this choice but I’m going to say Zac Efron
The basketcase: Ellen Page

Thoughts? Who would you cast?